The BS Meter is Off the Charts: When Old Sales Metrics Crash into the New Reality

So, I walked into this business meeting the other day, bracing myself for the usual corporate blah-blah – you know, the "synergy sessions" that feel like they're designed to slowly drain your will to live. But surprise! One of the Big Bosses, the kind who could sell ice to anyone and make them thank them for it, showed up.

This person? Polished to a mirror sheen. Commands a room like they own the deed, and in this case...they actually did. And talk about a salesperson down to their very being!

Now, let me lay this out there: I'd rather have a root canal than be on the receiving end of a sales pitch. Always have. Always will. It's like nails on a chalkboard for me. Doesn't matter if it's a new software, a brilliant "opportunity," or some life-changing program – the second I smell that hard-sell aroma, my internal alarms go off. It's like my old days working on ejection seats in high-performance aircraft. Once I caught that whiff of "sell-sell-sell," my ears clamped shut, and my mind executed a rapid ejection sequence, rocketing about 300 feet away in roughly 0.3 seconds. Pretty sure I'm not alone on this. I'm also pretty sure it's because of the time-share I've had for 25 years that I CAN NOT get rid of, but that's another story.

We all love to buy stuff because the decision is ours to buy it, but being sold to? Different story.

Anyway, this individual kicks things off with the numbers. Where we are, where we "need" to be. Fine. I get the basic map. Then they drop a truth bomb, and honestly, it was the most sensible thing they said all meeting:

“The customer and the whole damn environment we’re operating in today? It’s a completely different animal than it was just two or three years ago.”

This what he actually said and it made sense because it's 100% true! Bingo. Finally, someone gets it! The world's flipped. In the purchasing game period, the buyers habits are doing the digital cha-cha, attention spans are shorter than a tweet, and the economy's got more mood swings than a teenager. Of course, the playbook needs an update.

But then, the plot thickens.

The conversation swivels to how often we're reaching out to customers. How often are we sitting down, face-to-face or cold calling them and making person-to-person contact? Fair enough question on the surface. But here's the kicker: in my world, it's not like people are banging down the door. This ain't a drive-thru. It's built on trust, on showing you know your stuff. You don't just hang a shingle and expect a stampede. You gotta build your reputation, get seen in the right light, and let people find you, as you find them – and say good things when they do.

Then comes the "let's all guess" moment. We're asked what percentage of our customer contacts actually turn into something real. One of our top performers – someone whose numbers are consistently through the roof – says they're seeing a 90–95% return.

Now in my mind and everyone else in the room, that's not just good; that's freaking gold!

But then the lead person leans in, all serious, and says:

“With all due respect, 90–95% just isn’t cutting it.”

Hold-The-SAMSUNG AND iPhone!!!

Didn't we just spend the last ten minutes acknowledging that the market's been turned upside down? That the rules of engagement have changed? But now, even top-of-the-game performance isn't enough?

Suddenly, it felt like I'd wandered into a time warp, listening to some "back in my day" rant about how success used to be all about cold calls, door-knocking, walking to school, backwards, uphill in the snow and 110° weather, and never taking "no" for an answer

And that's where my brain hits the eject button:

The tactics that worked in the Stone Age of sales don't magically work now. End of story.

Today's customers? They're walking encyclopedias compared to a few years ago. They're picky, they do their homework. Today the Billy Mays tactic is rude, crude, and they're not afraid to say "hell no." If your grand strategy is just to yell louder and push harder, you're missing the whole damn point. It's not about the shove; it's about the genuine connection, and quality of service.

And let's not even pretend the landscape hasn't shifted. You can't expect today's team to win yesterday's game using a dusty old rulebook.

LESSONS I'M TAKING AWAY (Before My Brain FullyChecked Out):

• Acknowledge the Now: The past is a history lesson, not a step-by-step guide for today's world.

  
  

• Recognize Wins When You See Them: If someone's crushing it with 90%+ returns in this environment, maybe… just maybe… they know what they're doing. Listen up.

  
  

• Leadership's About Guiding, Not Demanding: It's about building bridges to your team and your customers, not just barking orders from some outdated playbook.

  
  

WHAT I WISH I'D SAID (Hindsight's Always 20/20):

If I had the guts to rewind that train wreck of a meeting, I'd have asked one simple, direct question:

“If we all agree the market’s fundamentally changed, why the hell are we still measuring ourselves against benchmarks from a completely different era?”

That might have actually sparked a real conversation. Maybe even nudged a few minds into the 21st century.